The Haze

Hello,

Why isn’t sanctification linear?

I’ve heard all the reasons. God has to show you the pit before he brings you out of it. God has to remind you how helpless you are without him. God has to keep breaking your pride. Each valley is to remind you of how sweet the mountain…I am tired. I am tired of trying to make sense of something that is beyond my ability to make sense of. I have tasted the mountain top. I have felt what it is to be in God’s presence day by day, moment after moment. It is true ecstacy. Not the type that ebbs and flows. Not the type that will leave you empty afterwards.

In these seasons, we can relate to Psalm 16 when David says that in God’s presence there are “pleasures forevermore.” Everything works, everything flows. I am a good husband, a good father, a good teacher, pastor and friend. Quiet time is sweet, satisfying, and intimate. My purpose is palpable. So, where did it all go?

The descent out of these seasons are slow, unnoticeable. One day everything makes sense, and then one day you wake up and realize for months you have been moving from task to task again, a prisoner to your to do list. Maybe you have been there too.

Yet, when I stop to think clearly, I realize this current haze isn’t like the ones before. Sin has a looser grip, quiet times still have something sweet to them, I am not constantly failing at my job or in my schooling. So, even thought I am in a valley compared to where I was, I am further up and further in than I was in the last valley. This gives me hope that the Lord is moving me somewhere. Who knows, maybe the next mountain and the next valley will continue upwards. One thing I do know is this: The Lord is faithful, and whether I see him in the haze or not, he will be on the other side of it. He also has before, and he won’t stop now.

-NR