Discernment or Judgment?

Hello,

These last two weeks, I have taken part in an interview process to determine our next principal. One thing that struck me throughout the process is how much good can be undone through a single mistake. One tone of voice, one moment of exhaustion, one comment that is determined uncouth. We are fickle creatures willing to trust quickly, but also willing to abandon that trust quickly.

This has me pondering, “How often do I do this in life?” How often is one mistake enough for me to write someone off? Would I want people to do this to me? Write me off because of one comment, exhausted interaction, one disagreement?

Interestingly enough, sometimes we mask these moments behind the gift of “discernment” saying that the Lord has ordained our condemnation of others…I think this may be wrong. I think there are times where people show their true colors, and they will not be a fit for the position. However, we also use this to determine our friendships, who is worthy to have our full attention. It may be a strength in a job interview, but in life, in general, Christians are called to bear with one another’s weaknesses, not use them to justify our condemnation.

Some of my best friends in life are people I thought badly about at the beginning. Some people I thought would be incredible friends based on first impressions turned out not to be so. I think people are more complicated than those of us with the “gift of discernment” would care to admit. Some people surprise us, some people are worth bearing with, and then some people are exactly who we think they will be. Who knows when to trust which instincts, yet one thing I do know is that I need to give people more grace up front than I have. Maybe you do too?

-NR